IT BEEEEEGIIIIIINS

I've been struggling for a while over how to begin this blog. I know my aims and I know the tone I want to take when I eventually get to topics I want to write about, but how to begin translating this mess of thoughts onto paper has been throwing me. My first attempts were of brash self assurance, but since I'm no Colbert, I'm settling for the humble uncertainty of "All I know is that I know nothing". Socrates is about as good as Stephen I suppose, and it has been the foundation of my thinking to some degree for as long as I can remember. Though it began more as self doubt before growing into the guarded, somewhat mock modesty of today, I suppose it's still fitting to begin by saying:

I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

I'll scream it from the blog-tops. I know nothin' bout nothin' no sir-ee! Mah brain's as finely tuned as Helen Keller's GUI-taaaaar. My conclusion's are as certain as Schrödinger's! My ideas hold as much water as a man with no arms who owns a bucket full o' holes!

There, look how humble I am. It's charming eh? I am the charming king of humble. And as king I decree that this blog is to be the document of my attempts to figure things out. You shall be my slightly less, or slightly more humble servants (whichever one is better for my position in this confusing monarchy I've designed) who will attack my ideas with your disgusting peasanty pointed tongues.

And while I'm trying my damnedest to be clever and irreverent I should get this out of the way. While I love language, I am not an english major, I've never had much love for grammatical structures or the tone of a proper essay. Truthfully I don't know the proper grammatical structures and I still grapple with the tone of polite company, let alone academic papers. While I won't go completely off the rails, this blog is more of an imagined one sided conversation than a formal essay. That being said I have much respect for formal argument and will sheepishly drag my tail between my legs if I am caught in logical fallacy.

So call me on my bullshit. I’m starting this blog to invite debate, as well as to alleviate some frustration. I will be venting to some degree and attempting to prove wrong those who draw my ire, but I really do want to have my ideas tested. When I’m wrong, show me how I’m wrong. Rub my nose in it. It’s the only way I’ll learn.



Coming up next! Some actual thinkin'!